Growing up is not easy, but unfortunately we all have to do it. It's hard to accept that reality until it's 2017 and you're on your way to turning 26 after having left a full-time job and still trying to figure out what you want to do. Oh, that's not everyone's current situation? Well, I'm going to be a bit more selfish in this post and devote it completely to things I've learned to accept about who I am. I've tried hard for most of my life to deny them, but that blazing interrogation light has gotten me to snap and spill my guts.
Here we go...
1. The older I get the less I want kids. It's hard for me to write out even now because of an implication this might have on anyone who has grown up wanting them, but I saw it as vital to share my perspective on what it means to be a woman and female expectations.
2. I really didn't like the whole 9-5 office job lifestyle, but feel like I will inevitably have to be in one again in the future.
3. The image of my body in my head will never match what I see in the mirror. Sometimes it's better and sometimes it's worse, but this dysmorphic struggle has made me recognize what features make me unique.
4. Despite how much I want to be the go-getter type of person who's always "busy" to prove my worth, stress affects me, both mentally and physically. Falling back into old habits is okay sometimes.
5. I love to write. It always felt silly to say out loud when I was younger, as though I was making my hopes of being a starving artist evident. As I've gotten older, though, the drive to do it, the pleasure it makes me feel, the sense of accomplishment once I've done it is too strong to ignore.
6. No matter how much I desperately hope for it, my natural hair will always be the awkward curly/wavy kinks I was too embarrassed to wear as a young teen. It's time I start embracing them because they aren't going anywhere.
7. One eye will always be slightly higher than the other. Most people don't notice it, but I can't look at a picture of myself without cringing.
8. I'm never happy with just one thing. I always want a shmorgishborg of opportunities. Satisfaction is hard to come by, but when I do I am grateful for it.
9. Trash TV is a genuine pleasure for me.
10. One breast is slightly bigger than the other (especially when I've gained a bit of weight), so I have to give it extra attention throughout the day to avoid any spillage.
11. Due to my pre-braces development, my lips do not close completely. But I feel like it adds some sultriness to my pout.
12. The image of smoking is romanticized in my head, but I am too much of a hypochondriac to even consider doing it myself.
13. I fall for people with a presence. That can be romantically or platonically. I like to surround myself with boisterous self-assuredness.
14. What is the opposite of a housewife? Because that's me. I'm more of a house cat - curled up on the couch, unexpectedly aggressive, enjoys a good back rub (sometimes drools during it).
15. I will screw up more times than I can count in the upcoming year, but amidst all that anxiety and self-loathing, I will chip away at the marble used to sculpt who I am.
16. Now that I know I can, I will probably cut my own hair for the rest of my life, simply to avoid awkward conversation about irrelevant topics with the stylist.
17. I don't like confrontation, but sometimes it's necessary and I won't blame myself if a situation resorts to that.
18. I don't have to get along with everyone. If someone is worth my time and effort it is evident upon first meeting. Any relationship too hard to maintain isn't worth the bother.
19. I am so caught up in my own head that I can never truly see myself as pretty (or anything other than the overweight, brace-face from high school).
20. As much as I enjoy going out with friends and finding adventure, I will always recoil back into my shell for much needed rest and recuperation before doing it again.
21. I shouldn't feel guilty for not having my license. I don't enjoy driving, I don't plan on owning a car, and soon we'll all be cyborgs anyway.
22. Worry and stress will always plague me, but I've learned a few great coping mechanisms to lessen their effects.
23. I can be extremely messy, but I like to think it's a product of my creativity.
24. I am a good partner, despite the stressful voices in the back of my head that might tell me otherwise.
25. I will never feel my age.
What have you learned to accept about yourself?