Change is a topic that is dreaded, but unavoidable. I find myself cringing at the thought of having to break my comfortable routine and begin a new path, no matter how minute that change might be. There is security in repetition and it has always been very easy for me to acclimate to a certain way of life, but having to adjust to something new feels is like pulling teeth. I know it needs to happen—I can’t be the same person forever—but the racing of my heart and light-headedness I feel when simply thinking about it is enough to have me drawing the covers over my head like I’ve seen a ghost.
YOU CAN’T MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY
Change is about your own growth and maturity. This is something that has taken me a long time to fully understand and accept. At 24 years old, I still feel restricted in doing certain things because of what my family would say if I decided to pursue those experiences, despite how happy they would make me. I cower at the thought of disappointing anyone in my life or having them think I am making the wrong decision, but it has inevitably come to a point where I’ve begun to feel closed off and stunted when not allowing myself to take those necessary steps.
At the end of the day, the people in your life who care about you will support your decision because it makes you happy. If they do not support it, even with that knowledge, then that relationship may need to be re-evaluated. Taking the time to explain your reasoning a bit more in depth can also help in eradicating any worries or concerns someone close to you may have. As long as you express that your decision is for you and your happiness, that is all you can do without holding someone else responsible for not understanding.
DON’T BE SCARED TO ADAPT
If you’re like me, then adapting to change may feel like you are letting a part of yourself go and all the good memories along with it. It has taken me a while to learn that memories will constantly be made and what was once experienced in the past is meant to help you in the future. There is no point making those memories if you are not going to learn and grow from them.
There is also the fear of ‘changing’ that can stunt your emotional growth and development because you don’t want to become a different person. I have always harboured the idea there is a specific set of ideals, jokes, emotions, facial expressions, hand gestures, etc., that construct who I am as a person. These are the same traits that my friends and boyfriend enjoy about me, so to decide to change certain aspects of that formed personality is unsettling. What if you become someone your friends and family don’t like? Or worse, someone that you don’t like? What if there is no turning back from taking that new job or moving to that city you’ve always wanted to live in? I think that these hesitations and uncertainties are normal and very difficult to overcome, but if the change is important to you then there is certainty in that.
And if, for whatever reason, the choice you’ve made is the wrong one and things do not go as you have planned, then you can have that as an experience that has brought you one step closer to what you truly want from life. Now that you’ve scratched that off your list and know it’s not for you, you can move on to bigger and better things.
Any tips you have for dealing with change?